We each have a powerful weapon always at our disposal that, when used with intention, can have a buoying effect. When wielded cruelly or recklessly, it just as easily cuts down. We, ourselves, are on the receiving end of this “weapon” as much as, if not more, than others.
It is our voice, one of the most powerful tools at our disposal as human beings, the impact of which often is taken for granted. Seemingly benign words can take on a life of their own when the recipient internalizes what’s been said, consciously or subconsciously.
My late father, whose every word carried the weight of the world for me.
When I was a high school freshman, I’d proudly brought home the essay I’d written for a citywide test displaying a score of 98, the highest score in the school system. I, the apple of my father’s eye, eagerly anticipated being lauded for my accomplishment. Instead, dark clouds burst open on my sunny parade with my dad’s utterance of six simple words. “Where are the other two points?”
I used to joke about this until I realized much later in my life the detrimental effect this had had on my self-confidence and my aspirations to be a writer. While I believe my father’s intent was pure in wanting to push me to the highest levels of success, I can’t fathom he’d had any idea of the damaging, long-term impact of these biting words. With the fell swoop of one sentence, he’d planted the seeds of doubt that this then-thirteen-year-old would sow into the thriving belief that I just wasn’t good enough.
Being effective stewards of our voices means choosing wisely when to exercise the right to be heard as much as choosing what to say.
While at dinner during a business trip last week, I met another diner who inspired me with how she’s embraced the power of her voice. A union steward at her company, she’d voluntarily taken on the unpaid position to help give voice to fellow employees as a neutral intermediary between the workforce and their employer.
I was curious about her apparent dedication to a role that provides no monetary reward, and she explained that she’d been a voiceless victim of sexual harassment. Instead of allowing anger and resentment to destroy her from the lack of satisfactory resolution of the situation, she’d seized the opportunity to heal what she’d endured by helping others’ voices be heard.
Consciously choosing to refrain from speaking can be an equally potent and effective use of our voice when words don’t offer a meaningful contribution.
If someone’s emotional investment in something of great importance renders them incapable of seeing other viewpoints, little good likely will come from forcing our opinion. In such case, deliberately withholding our voice until the situation is emotionally diffused may be the best path to take.
Harness the full power of your voice by choosing wisely when to unleash its influence and the ammo of the words with which you load this omnipotent tool.
