The most effective way to bring into our lives what we want is to be the source of the very thing for which we yearn. Through our willingness to give what it is we seek, we activate the flow of the object of our desire so that not only does it flow from us, it also will flow to us. If we hold back, we constrict flow and become an obstacle.
Generosity begets generosity, be it generosity of heart, generosity of time, generosity of resources, or generosity of whatever; you get it.
Take friendship for example. When we’re a better friend, when we’re more present with those we care about, we cause a chain reaction for our friends to step up and be more present and available to us. By being the friend we want, we mirror a reflection onto others of what they can be. If we’re distant and detached, the relationships in our lives likely will be the same.
If we long to be closer to a family member or a significant other, we have to be willing to meet them where we want to be met. By being the catalyst brave enough to bare our desire for more closeness and intimacy, not only do we communicate what we want, we also reassure the other person that it’s okay to be vulnerable.
I experienced this in the most literal and metaphorical sense a short while ago, but it wasn’t until after the fact that I recognized the principle in play.
On my first trip to Costa Rica, I discovered the most marvelous heart shaped stones while strolling along the beautiful Guanacaste shore (pictured above is my cherished collection of heart shaped rocks and a heart shaped seashell displayed on my altar in a wooden dish, also from Costa Rica). At first there was one small stone, then on successive walks through the week, I found other, increasingly larger heart shaped rocks, each exquisitely sculpted by Mother Nature and seemingly placed for my discovery.
The find that I most coveted to bring home was a smooth, gray stone, about two-and-a-half inches at its widest, perfectly heart shaped. I so treasured this particular rock that I dared not put it in my checked suitcase and instead packed it in my carryon bag.
As the lesson would begin to unfold for me, my heart stone caught the attention of the airport security checkpoint guards and was confiscated. As part of some nonsensical nature conservancy act, throwing my coveted stone into the garbage can somehow preserved the Costa Rican shoreline more than allowing me to keep the rock.
I steamed and schemed how to get my rock back for the ensuing ninety minutes until my flight. I went as far as offering a friendly looking female guard the last twenty bucks in my wallet to retrieve my heart, but to no avail.
I tried to console myself that material things are external to me, and all that truly matters is what I carry in my heart. After all, I did still have two smaller heart stones the guards hadn’t detected.
Fast forward a year to my return trip to the same sacred, beautiful place, when I couldn’t help but wonder whether I’d find more heart shaped stones. Sure enough, as I walked the beach on the first day, I found one heart stone, and then another. As the week progressed, I’d go on to find several more amidst the many rocks strewn along the beach by the daily tides, and even a delicate heart shaped seashell.
The delicate heart stone my soul sister, Pam, chose as a remembrance of our special connection that was forged in Costa Rica.
As the small collection of heart shaped rocks grew on the table in my room, I was moved to share my abundance. A new friend with whom I’d made a profound connection had left her yoga mat in my room while we went for tea one evening, and when we returned to collect her things, I invited her to choose one of the hearts as a keepsake. She was moved to tears by my generosity, which touched me so deeply that I was compelled to keep sharing.
There were two others who’d made a special impact on me that week, and to each of them I also offered a heart from my treasured collection as an expression of my appreciation. In my innocent gesture to share, I planted the seeds of special new friendships that have since grown and deepened across the thousands of miles and time that separate these soul sisters and me.
My dear friend, Tisha, with the heart stone she chose as a keepsake of our newfound friendship.
When one of my then-new friends showed the heart she’d chosen to her husband, he’d marveled, “Wow! How many of these heart shaped stones are out there?!”
My answer? I believe they’re infinite, just as love itself.
The more we give, the more the Universe returns to us in endless abundance.
