Guilt and martyrdom are overrated. How much sense does it really make to make ourselves feel bad about something we truthfully desire and enjoy, a well-earned accomplishment, or a gift received from the hand of another’s kind gesture?
The voice of the Ego has us so well trained when something great happens, it’s as though we see a bully in school walking down the hall, and we automatically tense up for the anticipated act of berating that is certain to follow. The whispers of, “you’re not good enough to have this” or “it’s too good to be true” become louder and louder until they drown out what is real.
But what if we say no to this habitual giving in and stand up for what we deserve?
It’s our birthright to feel good about what brings us joy and pleasure, to celebrate when something amazing blesses our lives. To deny what feels good is to resist our very human nature.
A good friend recently got a promotion at work, her second in as many years. She called me in disbelief, incredulous that this could happen again so soon. I tried to reassure her that promotions typically aren’t handed out in error and asked her to stop and consider that she actually deserves the recognition. I encouraged her to let go of the doubt, to allow herself to receive the acknowledgement and take full pride in it.
A beautiful treasure that found me on the beach in Miami.
I recently attended a conference in Miami for work, and when I was greeted in my hotel room by the most breathtaking view of the crystal blue ocean, I felt guilty (the view above was snapped from my balcony). But why? I was traveling on approved company business to a networking and professional development event that just happened to be located steps away from the beach. I was indoors in session almost the entire time, yet something felt dissonant about being in this beautiful setting for work.
Guilt is a buzz kill for joy and pleasure, that’s what it is.
It’s high time to reclaim a hundred percent of the delight and enjoyment in our lives and let go of the arcane notion that we’re supposed to dilute our feelings with a tinge of guilt when something great comes our way.
There are times when guilt knocks on the door because we’ve done something that may feel as though we’ve strayed a few degrees from our moral compass, but even on those occasions, we shouldn’t back down from guilt.
If we wander from the center of our moral compass, it seldom is because of a subversive desire to do something seemingly misplaced. Behind the action we almost certainly will find a deeper need or desire that currently is unmet in our lives, and so when opportunity presents itself, we may be compelled to fill the need almost subconsciously.
Guilt shines a light on where we need to focus, calling our attention to holes that need to be filled to make us whole again so the needle can return to a point of true alignment with our heart and soul.
Is guilt trying to shine a light anywhere in your life or standing in the way of your ability to fully take in all the joy and pleasure you feel deep within?
Let yourself off the hook, please. At the end of our time on this great Earth, I don’t anticipate it will have earned any extra credits to be noted as someone who habitually denied themselves joy and pleasure.
