As a society, we’re typically uncomfortable with silence. Whether a lull in a telephone call or a brief lapse of words in another’s presence, awkwardness quickly sets in where space and time are unoccupied.
When we rush to fill a quiet void, we can miss a prime opportunity to mine the silence for the richness of what it maybe harvesting.
Sometimes the person on the other end of the line or sitting across the table simply is taking a moment to gather forming thoughts or to give the matter at hand worthy contemplation.
If we’re too quick to finish another’s thoughts with what we assume is on the tip of their tongue, we risk robbing them and ourselves of novel new ideas, or at the least, we short our conversational companion of the right to share completely what’s on their mind.
Silence with ourselves can be likewise disconcerting but equally fertile ground when we honor it. Answers to even the most challenging questions are available if we sit still long enough to listen for them.
I recently found myself starting to do mental acrobatics around an opportunity to invest significantly in further work with one of my coaches. Remembering the agony of a similar self-debate from not that long ago, I caught myself and temporarily delayed giving the matter serious thought until I could be alone, in the silence of my own knowing.
During a long break in the retreat I was attending, I sought respite in my hotel room. I barely had sat down to meditate when I heard my own voice giving me crystal clear direction. It was as though she’d known the answer all along and was just waiting for enough silence to be heard. I was grateful for the decisiveness that saved me days of debating with myself that likely would have ended up at the same conclusion.
Incredible power is at our disposal in stillness, in using precious silence to fully receive and process whatever may be at hand. Answers lay in the stillness, answers that are ever present but require enough silence to be audible.
The next time you encounter what may initially feel like an awkward quiet, hit pause and honor the silence. You might be pleasantly surprised by what comes next.
