“Time and change will surely show, how firm thy friendship, O-HI-O…”
This line from my alma mater’s song, Carmen Ohio, has been stuck on replay in my mind lately, more for the meaning in the words than for nostalgia around my days at The Ohio State University (where alums make sport of “spelling out” O-H-I-O at interesting places around the world and capturing the Buckeye spirit in photographs. That’s me, above, with fellow alumni my uncle, brother and aunt at the Great Wall of China).
The poignancy of these words struck me in their reflection of friendships in my life, how some have endured since my teenage years while others have long fallen to the wayside.
I was one of those rare kids who never moved during childhood, never plucked out of a school and inserted into another mid-year. Growing up, I’d always felt sorry when a new kid would show up in the middle of the year and have to make new friends and learn the lay of a new land. Now, I wonder if those kids were actually fortunate to have had experiences to better prepare them for the inevitable changes that come in life.
I was saddened to learn recently that the very first friend I’d made in Austin is preparing to move back east with her husband and children to be closer to their aging parents and large, extended families.
Then, when I’d barely made the mental adjustment to Claudine’s move, my neighbor and good friend, Lynn, informed me that she and her husband are selling their house to pursue their dream of building a larger home.
I fully respect and understand the drivers behind each decision, but I couldn’t help feeling disappointed that two special women in my life soon will no longer share the same area code with me.
Not wanting to be stuck in the dumps about these changes, I decided to focus on what I’ve gained from these friendships rather than view them from a place of loss.
I’ve had the opportunity to learn from two women that each have excelled in their careers and then modeled the courage to move on to something totally different when their lives called for it, one the call to motherhood and entrepreneurship, the other the call to semi-retirement and volunteerism.
I have many memories upon which we’ll always be able to look back and laugh. Above all else, moving doesn’t automatically mark the end of these friendships. Geographic distance undoubtedly will influence the nature and frequency of our interactions, but they well may turn out like the nearest and dearest relationships in my life, where distance actually has strengthened and reinforced the bonds of friendship and sisterhood.
I’m excited for the next chapter in each of my friend’s lives and what their respective moves will bring. I’m also excited about new friendships that will fill this space in my life. Time and change will surely show how firm our friendships.
It feels so much better, so much more expansive, to look at things from a place of abundance rather than lack.
Is there anything in your life that has you feeling downtrodden, something you can literally turn around by looking at it from the perspective of what it has given to instead of taken from you? A different vantage point could make all the difference.
