I was up well past midnight last Sunday completing an urgent project for work. When the alarm went off less than five hours later in order for me to squeeze in a workout before flying out on a business trip, I marveled at the absence of resentment or bitterness for my exhaustion, something I might’ve expected in the past for having had to work on a weekend.
Gratitude notwithstanding for the life that my job enables me, I was noticing something different. Sure, I could’ve done the work anytime over the weekend; it was by choice that I’d prioritized other things that left work for last and resulted in less than desirable timing. And I’ve had jobs where working on the weekend was a given for the nature and urgency of those responsibilities, but what was different that I’d actually hummed along cheerily even as I’d glanced up repeatedly to see the hours ticking away on the clock?
It wasn’t until later the next day that things clicked while sending an email to my mentor for whom I’d done the special project. It was for whom I’d literally burned the midnight oil that made the difference.
My mentor, who isn’t currently my direct manager, and I go back almost two decades. Throughout the course of “growing up” in my corporate career, he’s guided and stood with me through good times and a few awful times. There’s little I wouldn’t do to support him, an exemplary leader and a great human being I also call my friend.
Then I remembered something I’d recently learned from another mentor, Mary Morrissey:
There’s a big difference between managing and leading. Managers get people to do things while leaders help you become someone.
This precisely explains my trust and loyalty in my aforementioned mentor at work. He’s been much more than a manager; he’s led me through both calm and rough waters and in the process helped me become a better version of myself.
We all need someone who can help us see in us what isn’t always so visible to ourselves, someone who helps us become all we’re meant to be by believing in our limitless potential and capacity when we can’t see so clearly ourselves.
I’ve been blessed with great mentors in my life who have imparted on me their visions for me, visions that sometimes I didn’t see but believed nonetheless because their knowing and trust were convincing enough. In their own special way, each has helped shape the woman I am today and the woman I still am becoming.
Simply put, it’s human nature to follow the leaders of our packs. In so doing, if we allow ourselves to stretch and grow, we transform into leaders ourselves.
As opportunities arise for each of us to be in positions of influence, it’s our privilege and responsibility to be effective leaders.
Don’t simply manage – stretch yourself and others by leading. We could make the difference in another’s life by helping them become more than they can see themselves.
