Imagine possessing the raw power to shred apart anything of your choosing with one-inch canine teeth and a bite force of hundreds of psi, yet choosing to do nothing when attacked at random.
When this very thing happened to my gentle giant, Romeo, he taught me that sometimes it is, in fact, in everyone’s best interest to show restraint.
Simply because we can react with force doesn’t mean we always should.
Romeo and I were taking a leisurely walk in the neighborhood one morning when suddenly we heard barking from a dog well known in the community for his behavior issues. There was something about this other dog and Romeo that they could smell one another long before they were in eyesight, which would send both into a ferocious barking frenzy. The other dog’s owner and I usually took immediate notice, tightened grips on our leashes and changed our respective routes to avoid an encounter.
The problem this particular day was that I couldn’t tell where the other dog was, and we were quite a distance from home, so we continued. Suddenly the other dog, his owner and his second dog rounded a corner. The negligent owner had one hand holding a cell phone to his ear engrossed in conversation and the other only loosely holding both dogs’ leashes. His vicious dog slipped loose easily and came charging at Romeo, biting my boy multiple times in the hindquarter and face and breaking blood.
I was in hysterical shock, helpless to do anything besides scream at the irresponsible owner to get his mongrel under control. I was frozen in fear and overlooked the only possible weapon of self-defense at my disposal, the pepper spray on my keychain.
The other dog looked almost disappointed that Romeo didn’t fight back, and it wasn’t until after the fact that I realized Romeo’s wise choice to resist had diffused the situation. Had Romeo elected to engage, there would have been carnage that I shudder to even contemplate, and no one would have emerged a “winner.”
We went home, and I tenderly nursed Romeo’s wounds and made some quick phone calls to our vet and the kennel, where Romeo was to spend the coming several nights while I traveled. I was apprehensive about leaving him even though he was a frequent visitor to the daycare and boarding facility, where he had his own fan club and would be doted on the entire time.
I was ready to cancel my trip when our vet and the kennel manager helped stem the tide of my hysteria. “How is Romeo doing?” they’d each asked. I was so engrossed in my own emotions that I hadn’t even noticed.
Romeo was lying down in his favorite corner of the kitchen in his usual Zen-like state (as demonstrated in the photo with me above), and save for the bite marks on his cheek and hip, you’d never have known of the morning’s encounter. He was perfectly fine. I was the one who’d continued to carry on in a heightened state of panic. They reminded me that our pets pick up on our energy, and the best thing I could do for us both was to go about like normal.
What, normal?! We were just attacked, wasn’t I supposed to do something? Batten down the hatches, man the fort, defend against the enemy! One look at Romeo’s serene face, and I knew the answer. No.
Sometimes doing nothing is much more powerful than reacting with bravado when provoked.
There have been countless times since that dreadful but impactful teaching moment when I’ve caught myself on the verge of an angry response to a trigger, stopping to remind myself of Romeo’s powerful example of restraint.
The next time you’re in a heated situation, take quick pause to ask yourself, “What good will come from lashing back? What higher good might come if I disengage?”
While it may feel good to blow off steam for a few seconds, you might be pleasantly surprised by how much better and enduring the feeling that comes from resisting the urge to fan the flames.
