We are capable and resourced to handle whatever comes our way, even if we can’t immediately fathom that being the case.
This is the most profound lesson of all that I learned from my oh-so-wise four-legged Soulmates Romeo and Bella.
There’s something incredibly empowering about simply surrendering to this truth in and of itself. Imagine what would happen if we automatically responded with this knowledge each time something unexpected came at us. Instead of reacting in shock and dismayed resistance, responding with the calm, self assuredness of “I’ve got this.” How different would that make life look and feel?
While this may sound crazy at first, it’s more reflective of reality than first glance suggests. After all, look at everything we’ve weathered and over which we’ve triumphed up to this very moment in our lives. If we objectively reflect on past challenges and discern between what we resisted and fought and that to which we surrendered and received, we’d find a distinct feeling of ease and natural flow in the latter versus tense, uncomfortable struggle in the former.
We each ultimately have within ourselves what we need to prevail. Our very existence and survival is testament to this. The Grace is in remembering to go with this flow instead of expending precious energy doubting and fighting ourselves.
Bella, my faithful bullmastiff and source of some of life’s greatest lessons.
So how did my dogs teach me this invaluable lesson? Through the experiences of saying goodbye to each when their time was finished on this Earth, I learned to surrender to the Grace of all that it is, of our complete lack of control in this continuous cycle of life, death and rebirth. In the process, I discovered within myself an endless wellspring of fortitude and faith that I could not only survive but actually flourish beyond the temporary paralysis of deep loss.
I witnessed Bella’s valiant battle with cancer just after her tenth birthday. In the short month that the disease waged war on her once strong and healthy body, I threw everything I had into the fight: thousands of dollars for chemotherapy and drugs, at first to beat the disease and then for palliative care, holistic treatments, special diets, anything and everything that gave me the illusion of control over the inevitable.
Then, in a moment of clarity, I realized that the situation was completely out of my control. In fact, it had never been in my control. I surrendered the false sense of empowerment I’d borrowed from deceptively thinking I had influence over a completely powerless situation. From that moment on, my sleepless nights of helplessness were replaced by peacefulness and gratitude for the time we shared instead of dwelling on the impending end of that time.
Romeo, my other joyful teacher wise beyond his canine years.
As Romeo started to show signs of age in the years following Bella’s death, I began to worry about the circumstances in which the time would come for him to pass. I told him – no, begged him, really – to honor his body’s time and not endure a moment of pain and suffering simply for my sake. I feared more than losing him that he, too, might suffer a dreadful illness and literally fight to the death to prolong leaving me.
I reassured Romeo that as fierce is my love for him, even greater was my need for him not to suffer. The strength and love with which he and his sister had filled my heart would endure and protect the very heart he dreaded breaking with his imminent mortality.
I was able to move forward with grace and peace when that fateful day came only through my unwavering trust that I had within me what it took to thrive beyond heartache and loss.
As I’d often done, I’d dropped Romeo off at the vet one morning for a routine exam and would pick him up after work so he could hang out there with some of his favorite creatures two-legged and four. Without forewarning, I received a frantic call at the end of the day, the strain in our vet’s voice and lack of detail ominous, “Just get here as fast as you can.”
I arrived as Romeo was succumbing to cardiac arrest, his lungs covered in a “snowstorm” of cancer that had gone undetected until just hours earlier. He’d waited to take his final labored breaths with me at his side, and with that, he peacefully left his physical body. He’d faithfully heeded me to the very end, surrendering to his body’s will instead of suffering a painful, drawn-out battle.
While I was no stranger to death, having lost my father at the tender age of 14 and other loved ones since, it wasn’t until parting with Bella and Romeo that I finally found peace with the reality that our time here is finite, and only then did I recognize my inherent ability to handle even the unthinkable.
The opportunity awaits us to embrace whatever comes our way as evidence of our strength and resilience. We are capable of working through what confronts us, however seemingly insurmountable it may seem.
The first step begins with trusting that we have what it takes and the resources to prevail.
