I grew up in a household that was far from wealthy in monetary terms, but my parents assured that my older brother, sister and me never wanted for a safe home, plenty of food to eat and clothing on our backs. Even as a child, I knew that providing for us was no small feat for our parents, Chinese immigrants who worked tirelessly for every possession they owned, including the basic necessities of raising a family (my parents are pictured above, during their brief courtship in Canada).
I inherited from my parents a strong work ethic for which I am extremely grateful. It’s also gratis of my parents that I acquired deep-seeded beliefs about money, beliefs with which I often felt at unexplainable odds until I finally recognized and took them head-on.
My parents were incredible savers who never bought anything for themselves that wasn’t a necessity. Their singular mission in life was to raise three healthy children and see us through college so that we would have professional careers that, in their minds, would ensure lifelong financial security.
I embodied my parents’ entrepreneurial spirit from a young age, always looking for chores I could do at our restaurant to earn a buck or two to buy for myself things that were non-essential in their eyes. As a child, that meant toys, stickers, or whatever the fad of the day was. As I grew older, I became more interested in clothing so that I would have choices besides my siblings’ hand-me-downs.
I was elated when I turned sixteen and got a job as a grocery store clerk and began earning a regular paycheck, but as I progressed through my life to different jobs that brought more responsibility and more money, I was cognizant of an ever-present guilt about spending. I would push to the back of my mind the constant feeling that I was “wasting” money on things I didn’t truly need, and I would spend anyway, but the guilt always prevented me from fully enjoying whatever it was for which I’d traded my hard-earned cash. The idea of rewarding myself with fruits for my labor was an unheard of concept.
My relationship with money took an evolutionary step a couple of years ago as the result of a conversation with the last person I expected to advocate spending, my trusted financial advisor, Randy Gerber.
As with all major financial decisions, I’d reached out to Randy for counsel on how I could fund participation in my mastermind in a fiscally responsible way. When I contacted Randy, I felt like a child again asking my parents for permission to do something and cringing at the expectation of getting an unequivocal “no” in response.
My life-long belief about “wasting” money was rearing its ugly head. How on earth could I contemplate spending such a significant amount of money on myself, let alone on something intangible?
Randy and I go back a long way, to the mid-90s, and he matter-of-factly pointed out that I’ve been talking about pursuing my dreams for as long as we’ve known each other.
He then told me that the greatest investment I could ever make is an investment in myself. His words took my breath away.
Was this authority figure on all things financial actually encouraging me to spend money on myself?!
I recently made another major investment in myself and my dreams – sans guilt – in the form of a year-long mentorship with transformational leader and coach Mary Morrissey, pictured here with me at a workshop in Los Angeles.
While Randy’s first and foremost objective is to guide clients in the sound management and investment of their financial resources, he also recognizes and wholeheartedly endorses the entrepreneurial spirit of following our dreams. He himself a first-generation entrepreneur, he’s built a successful practice around helping entrepreneurs make sound financial decisions to support the realization of their dreams.
We proceeded to figure out a way for me to invest in the mastermind while protecting my long-term financial health. In the process, I gained a life-changing perspective for what money really represents.
Money simply is energy that has two purposes – to provide our basic needs for survival, and to provide the freedom to be and do what we desire most in life.
If we withhold the energy of money from ourselves, we constrict our very being’s desire to expand and grow to our full potential and to realize our soul’s purpose in this life.
It is our birthright to invest in ourselves, without guilt. It is the greatest investment we will ever make.
