As I packed my bags to fly home early one morning from a recent visit with my mother, I became acutely aware of a dichotomy that exists in all of us. As human beings, we inherently need to feel needed, yet the often-present polarity of not wanting to ask for or receive help denies another from filling the very need to be needed that we all share.
Much to my protest, Mom had risen shortly after me at 4:30 am, eager to help make sure I set off in time for my flight. I, on the other hand, had relished the idea of a peaceful, silent morning.
At first I was annoyed by the shadow of her presence following me around, wanting to make the bed, help me pack, fix breakfast or anything else I might have needed.
I noticed what I was noticing and quickly shifted from rejecting to receiving. More important than my inward need for a quiet start to the day was my desire to help Mom fulfill her need to be needed, something I easily could honor simply by receiving her help.
She happily obliged when I asked her to gather the bedding and rearrange the room, the smile on her face rapidly dissipating any annoyance I’d felt just moments earlier.
When we let someone be of help, we’re both recipient and benefactor.
Not only do we get support, but the act of doing so is a surefire way to give back through acknowledging another’s kindness and reinforcing their sense of self worth.
It’s a win-win every time.
