On this lifelong journey of claiming the authentic stories of our lives, it’s essential to be crystal clear on exactly what we want. By putting pen to paper and writing out in precise detail the story to which we’re taking claim, we create an effective roadmap to keep ourselves on course.
By referring often to a laser sharp, written account of what we want, we can save ourselves from falling down a rabbit hole in chase of something that might look like what we want but in actuality takes us further away.
I recently found myself on the edge of my own rabbit hole but thankfully pulled myself back in time to make a course correction.
I’d been spending time with a guy whose company I enjoyed and whom I adored, yet each time we were apart, I felt an uncomfortable gnawing in my stomach that something wasn’t right. For awhile, I wouldn’t even allow myself to acknowledge this “off” feeling, trying instead to convince myself it was just exhaustion, worry about something unrelated or some other thin veil of an excuse.
It wasn’t until I sat down and dusted off my story of the legendary love of my dreams (which I admittedly hadn’t read in much too long) that I felt the hammer’s tap to my head. This relationship looked very little like my authentic story of love. It was like I’d been lost in the home and garden section of the bookstore when what I really covet is eighteenth century romantic literature.
Seeing in black and white my own words that I’d revised and refined into a vision of love with which I am deeply in love made undeniable the contrast with the relationship for which I’d been trying to convince myself was “good enough.”
He was showing up on a different wavelength from what I desire, especially when it came to what we each need from and are willing to contribute to a relationship.
The answer was crystal clear. This wasn’t my guy, nor I, his girl. Of course part of me still wanted to argue in favor of the defense. Said guy is an attractive, decent, upstanding human being with many great qualities. Why not him, why not us together? Because the sum of us together simply didn’t make for a recipe for the partnership of my dreams.
Clarity helped dissipate the emotional charge I felt from letting go of something that ultimately didn’t lend itself to the authentic story of my life (nor his). While there’s a natural amount of heartache to soothe, there’s a bigger sense of relief and gratitude for not having deceived myself into accepting way less than my true heart and soul’s desire.
A well-written vision is like our personal superhero cape, the perfect foil for fending off the enticing power of self-deception that our crafty Ego can wield in an attempt to play it safe and settle for less.
Write out your dreams for each of the major areas of your life: Your health and well-being, your relationships, your vocation, your time and money freedom.
Don your superhero cape and shine the light on any part of your life where you’re settling for less than what your heart and soul truly desire.
A course correction is as close as the next turn to get you back on track to creating a life you fully love!
