With the holiday season in full swing, it’s all too easy to fall prey to the feeling of overwhelm that can accompany the endless ‘to do’ list that seems to be part and parcel of this time of year. Decorations to hang, gifts to buy, cards to send, treats to bake, people to see…where does it all end? The sheer volume of tasks can be enough to displace joy with dread, but I discovered an effective antidote this weekend just in time to save myself from going down this slippery slope.
I was driving with my windows down, enjoying the unseasonably warm 70-degree weather, grateful to be headed home after finishing errands and oblivious to the fact that Christmas is right around the corner. Then I saw a family pulled over on the side of the road decorating a tree on the Green Belt and immediately thought, “Oh crap, Christmas decorations for the house. Ugh.”
My body wanted to keep driving home, but my mind steered me in the opposite direction to buy wreaths for my gate and front door. In the course of five minutes, my mind raged into a full-on debate of whether to decorate.
“Why go through the trouble? You’ll be traveling most of the month and won’t even be home to enjoy a decorated house.”
“Oh, but you have to decorate – the house can’t be bare of signs of the season when Mom comes to visit.”
The debate crested as I parked and walked into the store to make my purchase. Decorations prevailed.
When I went outside the next morning to pick up the newspaper, I looked up and saw the wreaths I’d hung in the dark and smiled (that’s my front door above). While the night before I’d felt like I had to initiate the holiday decorations, the light of a new day reminded me of my love for this time of year and all its accompanying regalia. I do want my house trimmed for the season. The recognition of what I’d thought was obligation to actually be desire replaced the previous night’s dread with joy.
When we approach something with desire instead of obligation, we create an entirely different energy.
Desire comes from a place of openness and expansion to welcome and receive what we want.
Obligation brings about heaviness and constriction, even resentment.
The difference in energy is undeniable, and the recipient action or person surely knows and absorbs it.
The next time you feel a sense of dread about doing something, whether it’s ringing in the season, working on a big project, calling a friend or relative or just going to the grocery store, pause and ask yourself, “What would I really love?”
If we initiate something that doesn’t come from the heart, it surely will be apparent in the results. We never perform our best when there’s an underlying feeling of resentment. The person we love on the other end of the line quickly picks up when a conversation is forced. The grocery store clerk feels our lack of gratitude.
Let’s avoid ruining someone else’s day and our own by noticing what we’re feeling and making a different choice. The answer is as easy as choosing something we do desire in the moment and revisiting later what currently feels like an obligation. It will make all the difference.
