I discovered in myself a factory-installed mechanism that I’m rewiring because it doesn’t belong in this make and model I know to be me. By default, my old way of thinking was based on the automatic assumption that, when faced with multiple desirable options, I could have only one. Then it dawned on me that “and” is another, far more attractive alternative to “either or.”
We limit the greatness in our lives if we limit ourselves to believing that we always have to choose between options. When choices are comparably attractive, instead of automatically assuming we can’t have it all, press pause and ask, “How could I have all that I’d truly love?”
We can have our cake and eat it, too, but first we must believe it’s possible.
Simply opening up to and embracing the possibility of there being no ceiling on what we can be, do or have causes the Universe to conspire in support of our endless abundance.
Conversely, if we believe we can have only limited lives, be it in experiences, relationships, material possessions or what have you, then we signal to the Universe that we can handle only so much goodness, and what comes our way is capped.
I used to think I couldn’t remain on the corporate track and have a life I love. The problem was that I wasted so much time and energy on the belief that I was trapped that there wasn’t anything left to pour into creating a life I would love.
Then by Divine grace through the voice of one of my coaches, I began to look at my life through a different lens. Instead of being resentful of a job I disliked at the time, I gratefully embraced my career for all that it enables in my life.
I refocused my energy on existing in harmony with my life instead of indignantly fighting it, weaving in activities, experiences and people that bring me joy. The Universe gladly responded in kind with time, space and opportunities, enabling a tremendous, ongoing transformation that has resulted in a life I love.
No, I haven’t quite figured out what I want to be when I grow up, I have yet to land the ideal job and right man as well as a bank account balance with lots of zeroes on the end, yet I unequivocally love my life. Today. Right now. Exactly as it is, imperfectly perfect as it is.
My parents came to the US with hopes of better lives than what they believed possible in the aftermath of their native China’s Cultural Revolution, but the very perspective from which they came limited the extent to which they dared dream.
Their greatest dreams evolved around the essentials of a safe existence: To be masters of their own destinies in the form of freedom to acquire and retain whatever wealth they could earn, to own a home and even their own business, to raise and provide for a healthy family, to give their children opportunities they, themselves, never saw, like higher education as a means for upward mobility.
Mom and Dad couldn’t have fathomed having their cake and eating it, too, to take their dreams beyond the fundamentals of a “good” life when survival and getting ahead were the order of their day.
Because of their selfless sacrifices and achievements, I can dare to dream of and have an extraordinary life. In fact, I’d be doing a disservice to their legacy to settle for anything less.
Now when I peruse the menu of life’s endless choices, I know all that I can be, do and have is only as limited as I allow myself to believe.
From here on out, this “AND” girl is leaving “OR” long behind in the rearview mirror.
I think I’ll have some cake and eat it, too. How about you?
